just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
