weddingsv make me drug and hornr
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
