But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
