So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
