Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
