So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
