pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
