...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize