I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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