I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
