he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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