I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Randomize
