new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I think your dad took our porno
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
