I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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