...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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