i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
