Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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