She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
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