After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
