You smell like a Billy Joel song
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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