how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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