You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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