It's like God shit irony all over that family
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
