We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
