is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
