It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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