Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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