I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
