No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
They have beer where we have blood.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Randomize
