The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
