i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
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