I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
