There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Randomize
