Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
