exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
