I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What did we do last night that was yellow?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
