Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
