That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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