I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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