operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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