just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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