This girl is more easily done than said...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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