At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
a search helicopter?!
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
