i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
