just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
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