i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
