i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
