At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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