No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
