my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Such a big mess for such a small penis
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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